Movie Review: Transformers: The Last Knight

Transformers: The Last Knight
Director: Micheal Bay
Writers Art Marcum (story and screenplay), Matt Holloway (story and screenplay), Ken Nolan (story and screenplay), Akiva Goldsman (story) (
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Duhamel
MPAA Rating: PG-13
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Hashtag: #Transformers
Optimus Prime finds his dead home planet, Cybertron, in which he comes to find he was responsible for its destruction. He finds a way to bring Cybertron back to life, but in order to do so, Optimus needs to find an artifact that is on Earth.

If you've read any of my reviews before, you'll know that I don't really give bad reviews. I always find something good in them, or I end up genuinely liking the movie. When it came to going to watch Transformers: The Last Knight, I can't say I was ecstatic, but I was curious and hopeful...but that went away real quick.

Let me explain.

When I watched the trailer for this movie, I am sure I sounded like most people in America: "Another one? How many more are they going to make?" Nonetheless, I wanted to watch it and see how it was. After all, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (aka Pirates 5) turned out to be actually really good, in my opinion. So I walked in with an open mind and a hopeful heart. I liked the first couple of movies, and the rest I found entertaining, but this one just completely flopped for me. Too many things went wrong with it and I just can't say many good things about it...

The Positive Side

First of all, let me start with the positive. The special effects are just superb! In every movie with special effects, at some point, you can see the fakeness, even if it's a little. In this movie, you cannot tell where it's real or not. The robots and explosions look incredible! I really loved that about this movie (and that's what Michael Bay is all about, no?) and have to really give it two thumbs up for this.

Also, there's this tiny little butler who's an autobot and he's crazy and hysterically funny. I said it's like a robot on crack.

Sir Anthony Hopkins. How can you go bad with him? He's awesome in anything and everything he does. His funny parts were actully funny and I loved it when he flipped some cops off.

Oh, and I absolutely and completely loved the fact that a big part of it was shot in London. I reminisced of when I was there, and loved seeing those gorgeous streets again, the Big Ben, and the aerial shots of the city were amazing.

But that's where my positive review ends.

The Bad

Let's start with what I liked the least: the sexualizing of Isabela Moner's character, Izabella. In the movie she is supposed to be 14. Yet, in the very first scene we see her, all you see is cleavage, and bouncing one too because she's running. Then, in many other scenes she's wearing very, very short shorts. I know that some teenagers dress this way, and call me old fashioned, but I think that's very inappropriate to be done in a movie. She's 14, people! Still very young in age! Also, ALL her hairstyles were of her having a bunch of hairs in her face, I found this annoying and distracting. By the way, Michael Bay needs to stop trying to replace Meagan Fox with other girls who are super knowledgeable in mechanics and can fix everything. As cool as it is you want to have a girl be independent and strong, using the same exact formula for every single female character in a Transformer's movie gets super old, super quick.

The acting. I've seen Mark Wahlberg in quite a few other movies, and I find him to be a good actor. In this movie, though, not so much. He seemed forced in some scenes, and trying too hard in others. He had some funny parts, but still, felt forced. His flirting with Laura Haddock's character, Vivian, was meh. I must say, though, that his love for the Autobots seemed genuine, at least. Going back to Vivian and Cade's (Mark Wahlberg) flirting, it felt so fake. Yes, I know it's fake, but actors are supposed to make us feel like what they're showing us is real. There's a scene in which Cade lifts up his shirt (thank you, Michael Bay!) and she walks in and sees this. Her whole acting in that scene and her pretend surprise at Cade's amazing abs looked so rehearsed and robotic, that I couldn't buy it. Also, the whole "they hate each other when they first meet but then fall for each other" storyline is SO overdone. Like, can we get a little more creative about this, please? Her sass fell so flat, and seemed NOT genuine. I should give her some sass lessons (if you know me, you know it's true).

The sterotypical cliches. So, so many stereotypes that I am not sure I can list them all, to be honest. Izabella is Mexican, so, of course, she has to speak with a slight accent and say "Orale" every half hour, minimum. Vivian (Laura Haddock) and Sir Edmund Burton (Sir Anthony Hopkins) are British, so of course they're poshy and rich. Of course Vivian has family members who are all snooty, nosey, and controlling women. How ghastly not to! And, OF COURSE, Sir Edmund Burton is an older Englishman, so what else would he wear but wellies with his trousers tucked into them, smoke a pipe, and wear a golf hat while he lives in a CASTLE and has a dog he walks with his butler. Don't ALL men from England do that? Oh, and, as per usual also, there's no other city in all of England than London (England is a country, London is its capital. There are way more cities in the country than that, google it). The autobot who's an Army guy, of course smokes tobacco and wears a chain with dogtags on it, while holding a shot gun the entire time. Then Jerrod Carmichael's character, Jimmy, is a geek, and, therefore, he must wear glasses, always be in a panic, and have one brave moment in the whole movie. Oh, and don't get me started on the bad robots! Such a stereotype of "gangstas" with the gold chains and the "yo, yo, what up?" type of thing. Just no. I could keep going, but I think you more than get my point.

The jokes. There were so many jokes, and most fell flat. There were so many moments in which jokes were delivered and not a single person laughed, and then there were others in which I was literally the only person who chuckled. Some of the jokes were just forced, they tried TOO hard in others, and there were some that were lost because they were said so fast and then something exploded that you missed it. Also they tried way too many jokes at once and that doesn't work, dude.

The storyline was a little confusing. There were moments in which I legit had no idea what was happening or why. Some things were not really explained, or were halfass explained. Blowing things up and having super cool robots is not going to save you from the incredibly thin and poor storyline. Sorry.

The excessive cursing. Please do not get me wrong. I curse like a sailor (as a real lady should, haha) and hang out with people who do the same. I grew up with a father who cursed every other word he spoke. So, this is not a problem for me, nor am I a prude. But. This is a movie many parents want to take their kids to because it's robots...and it was originally a kids show and toys, people. So, Michael Bay thought that having everyone in this movie curse constantly and in the most random and odd moments would make it "cool" and "hip", apparently. I get you are trying to appeal mostly to teens and very young adults, but, to be honest, the times the cursing was used was so meh, you lost me, and it bothered me. And I know I wasn't alone on this. I heard it from others, and my friend -a guy who also curses a lot -who went with me, said the same thing.

Oh, and the fire! There are stupid little fires EVERYWHERE and in almost every scene! I was so confused. If there was rubble, there were small fire pits around it. If there had been an explosion, there were even more of them. There was even a tomb they go to that had been closed for 1600 years (1600 YEARS!) and it had small fire pits! Who started them? Who kept them? Why are they there?????

Also, the fake tans. Poor Marky Mark had such a horrible fake tan. They did such a poor job of this! And I don't get why him and Izabella were always sweaty and dirty looking. No, they weren't always in a war, so no need to be looking like that.

In conclusion, as per usual, Michael Bay just tries way, way too hard to cover up his poor storyline that has a million plot holes with explosions and robots. Doesn't really care much for acting, just for a pretty face (both male and female) that has good cleavage (even if it's a 14 year old girl's) and/or amazing abs. Also, please give up the idea of stretching and stretching the Transformers storyline. Each move just gets worse, and, in case you didn't know, there are a million other stories to tell. And yes, they can have amazing explosions and robots too. Just stop making Transformers movies (at the end of this movie, it is hinted there might be a 6th one)! Give it up, my friend, give it up.

There you have it, my review. I give this movie 2 stars out of 5, 1 is because of Sir Anthony Hopkins and 1 for the special effects.

Let me know what you thought of the movie!

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