I STOP SOMEWHEREAuthor: T.E. Carter
Reading Level: Young Adult
Genre: Contemporary Romance
Released: February 27, 2018
Ellie Frias disappeared long before she vanished.
Tormented throughout middle school, Ellie begins her freshman year with a new look: she doesn't need to be popular; she just needs to blend in with the wallpaper.
But when the unthinkable happens, Ellie finds herself trapped after a brutal assault. She wasn't the first victim, and now she watches it happen again and again. She tries to hold on to her happier memories in order to get past the cold days, waiting for someone to find her.
The problem is, no one searches for a girl they never noticed in the first place.
TE Carter's stirring and visceral debut not only discusses and dismantles rape culture, but it also reminds us what it is to be human.
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Excerpt
Nobody noticed me as I cut through the room. I made my way outside, into the cold. Spring was playing games with us. Weeks earlier, it had snuck in overnight, erasing our memory of winter in a matter of hours. When we’d gone to bed, winter had lingered in the snowbanks and in the way the trees still hunched over from the weight of it. And then suddenly, spring. We woke to birds singing, birds who appeared to have been shipped overnight on a secret train, and we remembered music.
But now, winter was trying to force a comeback. Everyone outside stood looking at the pool, wondering what happened. I was shivering, wearing a skirt and thin shirt I’d borrowed from Kate when spring was still a promise.
I saw him from the periphery. From the in-between where the people inside faded into the background, but the people outside were only figures in the night. It made sense; I was a periphery girl.
“Hey,” I said to his back.
When he turned to look at me, I swear the light from the porch surrounded him. But I think I made that up. I think I want to remember him that way. I want to believe there was something that made him special. I want to believe that loneliness doesn’t just mess with our hearts.
“Ellie! You came,” Caleb said.
“I said I would.”
“I know. I wasn’t sure, though. I worried. You’re late.”
I’d walked to the party, after telling my dad I was going to a friend’s. He wouldn’t have stopped me from going to Gina Lynn’s. I didn’t have other friends, so it wouldn’t have made a difference if I’d said her name. But, for some reason, I lied. I lied and I don’t know why I did.
“Yeah, well, I was doing things.”
He laughed. “Mysterious things. Of course. I’d expect nothing less from my Elusive Ellie.”
My. I heard it. The claim he laid on me. I smiled at the word.
He moved closer and I stepped back. It was automatic. Since earlier in the week, by my locker, I hadn’t stopped thinking about the possibility. But now that he was close again, I was scared. I was afraid of the way I knew I’d hurt if he waited months to talk to me again. I didn’t want to fall for a guy just because he’d smiled at me and said my name a few times. I was afraid of what would happen if there was more to it than that, but I was also afraid of how I’d feel if there wasn’t.
“I don’t think I’m supposed to be here,” I said.
I’d always imagined being wanted. Of someone loving me. Choosing me. But here was this boy and if he kissed me, I knew I’d always worry about going back to not being wanted.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING:
“an unputdownable mystery. Don't miss it.” - Hayley Chewins – Author
“Visceral with both rage and tenderness and impossible to put down.” – Amelinda – Goodreads Reviewer
“unapologetic and gorgeous and raw” – Rachel Solomon – Author
“powerful and profound and makes you think” – Amanda Searcy - Author
Nobody noticed me as I cut through the room. I made my way outside, into the cold. Spring was playing games with us. Weeks earlier, it had snuck in overnight, erasing our memory of winter in a matter of hours. When we’d gone to bed, winter had lingered in the snowbanks and in the way the trees still hunched over from the weight of it. And then suddenly, spring. We woke to birds singing, birds who appeared to have been shipped overnight on a secret train, and we remembered music.
But now, winter was trying to force a comeback. Everyone outside stood looking at the pool, wondering what happened. I was shivering, wearing a skirt and thin shirt I’d borrowed from Kate when spring was still a promise.
I saw him from the periphery. From the in-between where the people inside faded into the background, but the people outside were only figures in the night. It made sense; I was a periphery girl.
“Hey,” I said to his back.
When he turned to look at me, I swear the light from the porch surrounded him. But I think I made that up. I think I want to remember him that way. I want to believe there was something that made him special. I want to believe that loneliness doesn’t just mess with our hearts.
“Ellie! You came,” Caleb said.
“I said I would.”
“I know. I wasn’t sure, though. I worried. You’re late.”
I’d walked to the party, after telling my dad I was going to a friend’s. He wouldn’t have stopped me from going to Gina Lynn’s. I didn’t have other friends, so it wouldn’t have made a difference if I’d said her name. But, for some reason, I lied. I lied and I don’t know why I did.
“Yeah, well, I was doing things.”
He laughed. “Mysterious things. Of course. I’d expect nothing less from my Elusive Ellie.”
My. I heard it. The claim he laid on me. I smiled at the word.
He moved closer and I stepped back. It was automatic. Since earlier in the week, by my locker, I hadn’t stopped thinking about the possibility. But now that he was close again, I was scared. I was afraid of the way I knew I’d hurt if he waited months to talk to me again. I didn’t want to fall for a guy just because he’d smiled at me and said my name a few times. I was afraid of what would happen if there was more to it than that, but I was also afraid of how I’d feel if there wasn’t.
“I don’t think I’m supposed to be here,” I said.
I’d always imagined being wanted. Of someone loving me. Choosing me. But here was this boy and if he kissed me, I knew I’d always worry about going back to not being wanted.
WHAT READERS ARE SAYING:
“an unputdownable mystery. Don't miss it.” - Hayley Chewins – Author
“Visceral with both rage and tenderness and impossible to put down.” – Amelinda – Goodreads Reviewer
“unapologetic and gorgeous and raw” – Rachel Solomon – Author
“powerful and profound and makes you think” – Amanda Searcy - Author
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
TE Carter was born in New England and
has lived in New England for pretty much her entire life. Throughout her
career, she’s done a lot of things, although her passion has always been
writing. When she’s not writing, she can generally be found reading classic
literature, obsessing over Game of Thrones (she’s one hundred percent Team
Lannister), playing Xbox, organizing her comic collection, or binge watching
baking competitions. She continues to live in New England with her husband and
their two cats.
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