Once Upon a Twilight!: Amber Smith

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Hoping to Break My Reading Block with these Books: The Way I Used To Be and The Way I Am Now by Amber Smith

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So it’s no secret that I have been on a reading block for more than 3 years. So when I received this email, something about the covers called to me. I’m hoping these books will help get me back to reading.

If you have read these books, I would love to hear your thoughts without spoiling the books. Drop a comment below, and let me know what you think.

Audiobook Review: The Way I Used To Be by Amber Smith

The Way I Used To Be
Author: Amber Smith
Narrated: Rebekkah Ross
Reading Level: Young Adult
Genre: Contemporary
Release Date: March 22nd 2016
Review Source: Simon & Schuster Audio

In the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault.

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

Okay, okay, I know, Andy loved this book and she shared a wonderful review (you can read it here). This is my usually my type of read and when I saw it available as audiobook, I decided to request it.

The Way I Used to Be brought all the RAGE feels. And not the good kind. I was pissed and couldn't believe what I was listening to. The worst part is this happens in real life. And it sucks. Life can be so unfair and we need to do something to change this.

I know every survivor has their own story to tell and each are meant to be listened to. They are important and they matter. However, with The Way I Used to Be, it was really, really, really hard to like Eden. Ever since her attack, this poor girl turned her life toward drugs, sex, and self-hatred. She hated herself so much that I hated her. I know I sound like a total witch but I just couldn't stand her. There were times I wanted to like her but oh God, she mad it impossible. What made me turn like Inside Out's character, Anger (you know with this flames and all), is her parents. Oh my gosh, they didn't care for her! The lack of parenting and ceaselessness... it should be illegal! They deserve the worst parent award of the century! To make it even worst, her brother turned against her. LIKE COME ON, GIVE HER A BREAK!! Yet when she did get one, she ruined it. SO MUCH RAGE!

I had to take breaks from this audiobook. I was completely so pissed off! I understand Eden was violated and and all. I know she needs time to process things and needs time to somehow move on. Even though it is not her fault that this happened to her, she blames herself... Which makes no sense but I've never been in that position, so I cannot put my two cents, but honestly, it just didn't make any sense... Then when she finally speaks up... we only get two seconds and then story ends.

I do have to give credit to Rebekkah Ross, the narrator. She did great telling story but Eden wasn't wasn't a great character. She was really hard to like and the story kept going in circle. Each year she would do the same and make things worst. The Way I used To Be is not on top of my recommend list but if you want to give it, I think you should. Read Andy's review, maybe it will push you to do it.

Top Ten Tuesday: 10 Of My Most Recent 5 Star Reads

Top Ten Tuesday is an original feature/weekly meme created at The Broke and the Bookish.

10 Of My Most Recent 5 Star Reads

1. Built by Jay Crownover - You can read my review HERE.

2. Walk The Edge by Katie McGarry - You can read my review HERE.

3. The Way I Used To Be by Amber Smith - You can read my review HERE.

4. Bully by Penelope Douglas - You can read Shannon's review HERE.

5. The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner - You can read Leydy's review HERE.

6. Lady Midnight by Cassandra Clare - You can read Shannon's review HERE.

7. Beautiful Boss by Christina Lauren - You can read Shannon's review HERE.

8. Rebel of the Sands by Alwyn Hamilton - You can read Bri's review HERE.

9. Blackhearts by Nicole Castroman - You can read Bri's review HERE.

10. We Are The Ants by Shaun David Hutcinson - You can read Bri's review HERE.

Blog Tour: The Way I Used To Be by Amber Smith + Giveaway

We are honor to be part of this amazing tour for author Amber Smith. This tour is hosted by The Irish Banana Tour!

The Way I Used To Be
Author: Amber Smith
Reading Level: Young Adult
Genre: Contemporary
Release Date: March 22nd 2016
Review Source: Margaret K. McElderry Books

In the tradition of Speak, this extraordinary debut novel shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault.

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.

What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.

Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, and while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

Every year there is that one book that comes into your life and hits you right in the feels. I might be biased in saying this, but The Way I Use To Be is by far one of the best debut books I've read in a very long time. It's hard to describe all the emotions I went through while reading The Way I Used To Be.

Amber Smith takes no prisoners with the way she opens up this book. It's right there from the very start-- you can't look past it. Eden was raped. (Even as I type those words it hurts just thinking about her story.) She was raped by her brother’s best friend. Someone she thought as family, she’s this person her whole life, she had absolutely no reason to even think that this person she cared about so much could even do what he did to her. It's always hard to dive into a story like this, but I'm glad they are being told.

This book broke me simple as that. I read The Way I Used To Be in the one sitting and by that I mean I finished in less than two hours. I was so captivated by Eden’s inner struggle and reading what people thought of her made me cry with frustration. Smith’s writing is so raw that she cuts you with each word. Many people experience their trauma in different ways. Shame, guilt, anger and eventually fall into the category of when they just try to forget about it. A mask is always easier to hide behind especially when people so easily see what they want to see. They don't see that one night can alter everything you've ever known. They just see the surface of a rebellious girl that doesn’t have a care in the world. Always remember that there is more than meets the eye. You never know what someone might be going through so don’t be so quick to judge.

Don't let a book of this magnitude pass you by. Pick it up and read it because Eden's story demands to be read.

Amber Smith grew up in Buffalo, NY and now lives in Charlotte, NC with her two dogs. After graduating from art school with a BFA in Painting, she earned her MA in Art History. When she’s not writing, she is working as a curator and art consultant. She has also written on the topics of art history and modern and contemporary art. The Way I Used to Be is her first novel.